you have done so much for me and i dont think i have ever told you how much i appreciate it. i know ill have to end up having to translate all this into korean but at least i would have said it. thank you for all the sacrifices that you have made to give me life you have always dreamed about. mom, i know you think i dont pay attention to the stories that you tell me about when you and dad first moved to california and started out with nothing to your name but i can promise you that i do pay attention and i am so thankful for having parents like you.
you moved from s.korea to los angeles, ca when jason was only a toddler and had nothing to your name. i am so thankful that you scrapped together money and sacrificed the small things in life to get us an apt and send us to a private school in beverly hills with just dads salary. dad, thank you for waking up 3 hours earlier than you had to just so you can drive us from los angeles to beverly hills in the early rush hour traffic just so we would have the education that you both sacrificed so much to give us. thank you so much. mom, you always told me about how all the other ladies at church wore their fancy dress clothes but you couldnt afford anything but jeans so you wore jeans every sunday and made do with what you had and told me that its whats inside that matters. i was too young to notice the difference but we really rarely ate out because we wouldnt be able to afford to eat what we really wanted so you cooked everything at home. i felt like we were eating the best of the best foods and to me, it still tastes like gourmet foods that the most exquisite chefs would cook but little did i know that you were making EVERYTHING from scratch...wether it was ketchup or french fries.
you told me stories when i asked and this one particular story really broke my heart and its bringing tears to my eyes as im writing this but i remember when you told me how in pre-school there was a special reading program where if you read a certain amount of hours, you would receive a coupon for a personal pan pizza from pizza hut. mom, you spent every hour of your free time teaching me how to read using that so dreaded 'pig and jig' and 'hooked on phoenix' book and so i was reading at a 1st grade level in pre-school and even ms. hellstrom can vouch for you...even with your short english you did everything for me..so of course i brought a certificate home. you and dad were so proud of me and that night for dinner you said we would all go out for pizza using the coupon i got and because no one ever reads the fine print, we didnt see that it was just a personal pan pizza...the tiny ass pizza that would feed only one of us..when there were four of us. we ordered a large pizza because we hadn't had pizza in about half a year (no sarcasm) and when it came time to pay....dad realized that it was just a personal pizza and realized we wouldnt have enough...he told us to sit down and so we listened...we patiently waited for our pizza...and when they called our number...instead of our large pizza, it was only two personal pizzas and i was confused. mom and dad, you told me and jason that you two werent hungry and to enjoy our pizza. i was naive and so i savored each bite of that pizza because it had been too long. i could only finish half so i offered you and dad my tiny half of my pizza and you guys had a piece of that small pan pizza. you guys laugh whenever you tell me that story now while eating a slice out of the large pizza i ordered for us but i could never tell you how much it breaks my heart to hear those kind of stories. i am SO THANKFUL for everything you have done for me.
i was too young to comprehend what was going on but now that i sit here and reflect on all that you have told me and what i experienced growing up, you guys somehow magically always gave us everything we needed and more while sacrificing things that you guys would have really enjoyed.
i remember the first luxury car we owned was the caddy but me, jason, and dad got t-boned so we had to total it and then we got our first lexus rx300 and yall went all out on it. fully loaded, leather, and gold emblems.
but, because of all those sacrifices that you have made, look at us now momma and daddy. you owned 2 houses and a condo while we lived in LA, and after we moved to the west coast, you now own a house and a building in dc. daddy, you have your own medical clinic in both the west coast and east coast. we went from sharing one car...momma, you had a small black stick car that would constantly break down to no car at all and then a fully loaded escalade now. daddy, you went from taking the bus to the oldsmobile that would not stop breaking down to the lexus that we first got in la. i remember you and momma and me drove to the santa monica beach to get some salt water for jasons science project because you didnt want him to have a disadvantage just because he couldnt get real samples of the ocean so at 9pm, we drove in the oldsmobile to the beach as soon as you got off of work and on the way back, we broke down and didnt get home until the dawn hours. after that you got the lexus and kept that car in pristine condition that a 1999 lexus looked better than the 2005 rx300s. and look at you now daddy...you helped me get a 08 benz clk350 that most teens can dream of driving and youre now looking for a new car to get me now!!! we were the only asian at my old dominion cotillion debutante ball. even though its hard to communicate with everyone, everyone fell in love with you guys.
i try to get you all the things that you even say one word about wanting to show you my appreciation but to me...it will never be enough to me. i can never show you my appreciation for EVERYTHING you have done for me.
momma and daddy, you do everything to give me everything i need to get a top notch education. and i know i slacked my sophomore and junior years and made some really wrong decisions and set me back a bit. but you guys never gave up on me and kept pushing me. i got a 1920 on my sat and got scholarships out the ass and look at me now. imma be getting my doctorate in 6 years and me and daddy can FINALLY be medical partners and i can move you guys back out to los angeles where yalls hearts belong and you can be near jason, your daughter in law jenny, and your grandson francis. i know buying daddy that ipad and buying momma all the cashmere sweaters and all the designer handbags and things she never got to have her prime years, will never be enough to show you my thanks for the 18 years + of sacrifices you have made for me.
you have taught me how to fend for myself and how to never take anything for granted. you taught me to work hard for what i want and if i want money, i need to work and make my own money. mommy and daddy, its hard living in a world where everyone thinks you guys pay for everything when its actually all the money that ive been saving since i have been little and me saving all my paychecks.
but im never going to let anyone bring me down because i know how much it hurts you to see me break down to you.
i promise you that my first paycheck after i get my doctorate, all of it will go to you. <3 i can never show you how much i love you. we fight SO MUCH but in the end i know you will never leave my side. you have been there for me when i was supposed to die in numerous different occasions from freak accidents.
i love you so much and i can never stop telling you thank you for all that you have done for me.
i know you may not know this but if i could give you the world, i would.
p.s.
if i listed everything you have done for me...this letter would be SO MUCH LONGER THAN IT ALREADY IS.
i love you to the moon and back and i would catch a shooting star for you and give it to you if i could.
i love you mom and dad.
love,
christin.
#np: lights (dubstep remix) - ellie goulding
